Not about Sex

It has been a while since I last posted here. No good reason, just lots of things that interfered with blogging. But my mailbox has been piling up with things that belong here, so time for a new blog. Why this title? Read on. To get started, 2 problems.

First, diagram on the left, you are declarer in 3NT after 1 from partner, 1NT from you, 3NT by partner. West leads the 7 (3rd and 5th), small, ace, small. East returns the 5, over to you. 









Then, diagram on the right, you pick up this collection. No surprisingly, west starts proceedings with 1, but more surprisingly, partner overcalls 2 and east puts in a strong spade raise. Your turn to bid something.


So, what has been piling filling up in my mailbox? First, there is this announcement for the annual Butler Marathon in Zwolle on March 9. 70 boards, from 10am to 10pm, with lunch and dinner included. Click on the picture to download the PDF with all details about how to register, location and what not.


Next, Frank and Hans have started a new site: http://www.bridgedailybulletins.nl. The site contains a collection of daily bulletins from bridge tournaments all over the world, and is intended for both amusement and to preserve the material for the future. Of course, Frank and Hans are still adding material, so if you have bulletins, please contact them at hakon@planet.nl. They can help you with scanning and such, of course.

Finally, some months ago, I announced that Jan van Cleeff and Toine van Hoof would be starting with a new online bridge column, replacing the articles they used to write for various newspapers. This was a good idea, however, “de Kibitzer” turned into a subscription only publication and not enough people subscribed. They have now decided to pull the plug. I’m sorry to hear that, though it was a bit predictable: folks on the Internet don’t like to pay for anything, Dutch don’t like to pay for anything either, so who will pay for something aimed at Dutch Internet users? In case you wondered, this blog will remain for free but if you want to support me, click on one of the ads. 

OK, over to the problems. We were playing against a husband and wife partnership at the Friday night duplicate. Butler scoring, strong field. First the husband got to play 3NT (1-1NT-3NT) on a heart to the ace and a heart back. The opponents play that they return 2nd and 4th from the remaining holding.

With KJxx(...) in west, it doesn’t matter what you do but if the heart honnors are split, you better guess right. First, it is conventional to play the ace from AKx(...) on trick one, so that suggest that west has the K and you should insert the 10. On the other hand, east knows that declarer has at most 3 hearts and can easily play the A from AKxx to mislead him. But against that, if east has something like AJx, returning the J will solve all problems that declarer may have had.  I have been thinking about this for a day now, and so-far, there is no real argument for playing either heart.

At the table, south contributed the 10 within a second, for the jack, a heart back to the K and the defense cashed a 4th heart and A for down 1 and -9 imp’s. Dummy, his wife, wasn’t too pleased with this and pointed out that he should have bid 1instead of 1NT, so that she would end up as declarer. She would, of course, make the contract. I’m not really buying this, first the natural continuation after 1 seems to be 3, and then 3NT from partner, making him declarer again. Then, even when she is declarer, she still has to guess right on a small heart lead and insert the Q (where the 10 makes more sense, as it works when east has led from AJxx or KJxx, while the Q only works against AKxx). Husband said nothing, which is was probably the best he could do.

The next board. It is clear that you have to support hearts but also that the opponents can always outbid you in spades. So, how to muddy the waters to keep them from doing that?

At the table, I tried 4NT, Blackwood, not that I was interested in partner’s aces. This worked in the most unusual way, as the auction proceed with 2 passes. Right, Geert managed to pass Blackwood and I was about to go down 10. -500 would not have been a total disaster, as the opponents are likely to be cold for about 620. Fortunately, the husband from board 1 came to the rescue. Did he put in the 10 without though on board one, on this board he tanked for a minute or two and then finally doubled. Now a quick correction to 5, doubled again for good measure.

Now the hand had to be played. The husband led a spade, declarer ruffed in dummy, drew the remaining trump and led a diamond to K and A. A diamond or a spade back will defeat the contract, as declarer, left to her own devices, will always lose 2 club tricks. Unfortunately, the dear husband returned a club. Small club in dummy. His wife didn’t read the position correctly and went up with the ace. Declarer claimed, +650 for NS, with a datum score of -650. The husband now made the biggest mistake in the 2 boards: he asked why is his wife didn’t play the 10. He shouldn’t have done that, as the wife responded with a quick “no” and her looks made it clear that he was not going to have sex anytime soon.

OK, you probably wonder why this hand qualifies for a 2 overcall and the first one didn’t qualify for 1. So do I, but I’ve learned when not to question Geert’s bids.


© Henk Uijterwaal 2019